Tuesday, February 17, 2009

From a family of three to a family of five (maybe six?)

Today, we officially accepted the twins' referral. On Friday, we met both social workers and they shared information on the children. I was furiously writting because I did not want to miss a thing and also to keep my emotions in check, because some of the information we were getting was very painful and difficult to hear. I was oblivious to the fact that one social worker was doing all the talking and the other one was watching our reactions. My husband came to the rescue! He seemed to be in overdrive communicating our enthusiasm in accepting the referral. I did wonder for a second why he seemed so chatty, but I did not allow myself to dwell on that, because I had to furiously write! Only later did he share that he felt our social worker who was doing the observing wanted to know our reactions. Since I was totally blank, he felt he needed to compensate! We were asked to think about our decision over the weekend, but we were so ready to say yes, yes, yes during our Friday meeting. We told our son this weekend about his new brother and sister and he could not have been more excited. He immediately wanted me to get the money from his piggy bank so that he could buy toys for his brother and sister. I reminded him that he was saving money to buy a train ticket, but he did not bat an eye. Oh, how I love my son's giving heart! He did immediately ask if they do not have a mommy and a daddy and I told him his mommy and daddy were going to be their mommy and daddy. He wanted us to go get them right away and when we explained that they would be coming home soon, he very concerned that they were with a stranger. He just learned about stranger danger in school and it is interesting how he internalized the lesson! We have spent a lot of time trying to reassure him that they are with a friend who is taking care of them before we get ready to bring them home. He has been saying his shoes (which are new) are too tight and he wanted to save them for his brother. All weekend he was talking about his brother and sister. He wanted to take their picture to school for his sharing day. My heart is bursting with love for my son and I thank God so much for how He is preparing my son for his new role as a big brother. I had so much fun buying some clothes for my daughter and my son did get to spend his pennies and nickels :) to buy some toys for his brother and sister. We also went car shopping this weekend - we could not figure our how to fit three carseats in a Corolla! Exciting times! I never thought I would be a van driving mom, but I sense God is not yet done with us on this adoption journey!

I got to work this morning and a second later, my husband started calling to see if I had spoken to the social worker to let her know we accepted the referral. He must have called me six times in half an hour and he was elated when I finally called the social worker to say yes, we are humbled and honored to be the parents of baby girl and baby boy. I am still shaking and I have not stopped staring at their pictures! I told some of my coworkers and everyone has been so supportive and excited! To say my mind has been preoccupied has been an understatement! And to top it off, we get to visit the babies this Thursday! The game plan is to visit them along with both social workers. Then we set up visits in their foster home. After they are comfortable with us and accept care from us, we can take them to the park near their foster home, before bringing them home for a visit. Then we will do an overnight visit and touch base with the social worker to make sure the move is not so traumatic for babies. This will be their third home in their short lives and though I want them home like yesterday, I understand that this is the best way to minimize the trauma of changing homes again.


Jill said...

I cannot WAIT to see the pics of the 2 newest additions to your family!!!!!
HUGS! Jill

Holly said...

I am so happy for you!
I love the transition activities...meeting the kids and slowly letting them get accustomed to you. That is one of the hardest parts of international adoption for me....some caretakers just picked up our son from his foster family and dropped him off with us. He didn't know them OR us and he's been with us ever since.
Poor kid...talk about major adjustments...we looked, smelled and sounded different. We didn't even speak his language!
I can't wait to see your NEW family pictures!!
with love,