Monday, November 24, 2008

"Chance" Meetings.

It still amazes me all the chance meetings we have had with adoptive parents since we started our adoption journey. This weekend we went to a friend’s birthday party and were introduced to the adoptive parents of an outgoing, friendly, loving, handsome and precious seven year old boy. The parents are wonderful people and were happy to share their story. The boy was adopted at 3 years old from the foster care system and this was his 15th placement! The parents had talked about adoption before, but never really started the process. The child’s parental rights had already been terminated and the child was available for adoption. Within one month, the boy was already in their home and the adoption was completed within six months. The mom shared that God in His infinite wisdom made the process go so fast, because she may have started second guessing herself if the process was longer. She knows without a doubt that God intended for the little boy to be their son. The downside to the speed of the process was because they got licensed right away and did not take any pre-adoptive classes. They were totally swimming on their own. When they were in crisis mode, their social worker only gave them a list of people to call, but in true “child welfare agency” form, no-one would ever return their calls. This has always been our major concern in adopting from the foster system: no-one seems to ever talk about post-adoption services. It appears that you jump hoops to get licensed to adopt, but once the child is in your home, you are on your own. I am not sure what the rational is, because it seems logical to expect that child adopted from the foster care system are more likely than not to present special challenges considering their history of abuse, neglect and multiple placements.

God has blessed them with really supportive family and they shared they have been a life saver. After such a traumatic start, the little boy has major issues, which has totally transformed this family’s lives. However, I have never seen such love and commitment as I saw on the parents’ faces when talking to us about their son. After a four year journey of heartbreak and totally feeling like the only one going through this, she feels they are making a breakthrough. Her son is in a school that is equipped to meet his needs, and they no longer get daily calls to pick him up from school. He is starting to become attached to them and they are also amazed at the love and compassion their older son has for his little brother.

The family generously offered to keep in touch and be a resource to us once we have our child/ren home. I am amazed at how God is orchestrating things and putting people in our lives who are either walking our walk or who have been there and have a wealth of information and are a great resource.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

3 Days, 3 Weeks, 3 Months, 3 Years, 3 Decades?

The ever interesting twists to get a copy of our home-study report from our local Child Welfare Agency! Our social worker had informed us that she was a fast typist and usually completed the home-study report three days after the last home-study visit. Well, more than a month later, we still do not have a copy. When I called the social worker, she had not even started typing the home-study report! Rather than be a little embarrassed at having stretched the truth earlier on, she instead proceeded to give me a lecture on what we can and cannot use the home-study report for! Okay, can we at least have the report before worrying about its uses! Its primary purpose is to ensure that we are licensed to adopt a child. Sans the report, no license to adopt! This is the epitome of government efficiency! And we wonder where our tax dollars go? 8 months of jumping though hoops trying to get a simple home-study report! And our lives are pretty boring – what if we had some skeletons in our closets? Oh, I forgot, the agency told us they would be more than happy to make an exception if we had criminal histories!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Not Me! Monday!

  1. I so totally did not spend tax payer dollars watching the clock all day because our database at work is down for three days and they won't let us take the time off.

  2. I so totally did not spend valuable work hours daydreaming that I have employed a cleaning service because I did not clean my house this weekend like I had intended to. For those in the know, do cleaning services attack the dust bunnies hiding behind your refrigerators?

  3. I so totally did not spend valuable work hours planning things to do with my son tomorrow, because I have the day off.

And that my friends, is your tax dollars at work! Okay, my cubicle has never gotten such a good scrubbing, I have spent hours making sure that I am a totally 21st Century government employee -- I have made sure there is not a scrap of paper that has dared find its way into my cubicle in keeping with our paperless office policy. My Lotus Notes are organized and I only have two more hours to figure out appropriate uses of your tax dollars!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

And now..............

So, what is the status of our adoption plans? We are done with the requirements for the foster care adoption, now we just wait. Oh yeah--I still need to contact the social worker to give us a copy of the homestudy report. I had asked the social worker if we would get a draft copy before the typed the final copy. She advised that she does not do draft copies--just the final copy. You really get what you pay for! It will cost us $500 for the home study once we get and accept a referral from the foster care agency. The private homestudy will cost us about $3,300, but we at least get to see a draft report and can make corrections if the social worker even infers we are less than supper mommy and supper daddy:) Our social worker told us she normally takes three days after the last home study visit to write up the report. It has been more than three weeks since that auspicious event, so I had better get on the phone! On the International adoption end, we have a homestudy agency, the adoption agency application fees, the Immigration Services fees and faith that God will make a way for us to raise the rest of the money.

When there seems to be a lull in the process and nothing seems to be moving, God orchestrates circumstances to remind me of His Heart for orphans and that we are on the right track. On Thursday, we had training at work and I sat with a co-worker who is pursuing adoption and another co-worker who is looking at adoption, but who did not know where to start. It was a blessing to talk about adoption with people who "get it" and share my passion and enthusiasm. I was able to share my story and we really had a wonderful sense of community! On Friday, I was at a breakfast hosted by a local christian radio station, and when the general manager was introduced, you will not guess what she talked about! Yes, adoption! Her 3 year old son just arrived home from Rwanda 1 1/2 months ago! Their journey took 2 years and they were true pioneers in adopting from Rwanda. They got the adoption decree from the court 1 1/2 years ago, but had to wait 1 1/2 years for a document from the Rwandan government allowing their son to leave the country. The GM relocated from Colorado to California six months ago, leaving her extended family, friends and church family. She was totally not expecting to get the call 1 1/2 months ago to get her son because of the timing. A lesson I am having to learn--not in my time, but Yours Lord!