A Cry from a child's Heart

During our preadoptive class today, we watched a video titled, "A Young Child's Point of View on Foster Care and Adoption" by The Infant-Parent Institute. The video has no pictures, just sound and words, but it has to be the most profound and moving video I have ever watched. It is narrated by children giving their view of foster care and adoption and there was not a dry face in the room after we finished watching it. It really makes you face the reality of adoption related behaviors (like bed wetting, defecating outside the parents rooms everyday for weeks, control through food, harming pets or even children in the home, etc). The video did an excellent job of showing how the children get to these behaviors, what the behaviors mean and what it means if a parent is not in there for the long haul. It really forces one to have to examine if they have what it takes to be there through all these behaviors. If one does not have what it takes to be able to deal with these behaviors, it does more harm to take in the child either as a foster or adoptive parent only to bail ship once the behaviors arise.

The social worker did keep her promise and give us a copy of the adoptive parents' rights that she had promised last week. The list is lengthy so brace yourselves! I will reprint word for word the rights:

• Familes have the right to apply for and to be considered for adoption. If a decision is made not to approve a family for adoption they have the right to appeal the decision.

Yes my friends, that is the total extent of the rights of the adoptive parents! I turned the page over and over again to make sure I was not missing something. I even clarified with the social worker that I had gotten the right printout. Nothing about the right to services for our foster care adoptive children, nothing about the right to get all information about our children available to the foster care agency, nothing about a right to decline a placement of a chid whose needs a parent feels they cannot possibly meet, etc, etc.