Somber Reflections

On of my New Year's resolutions was to be more "present" with the kids and infuse more fun into our daily lives. I am so sad about those opportunities I have missed to fully connect with the blessings the Lord has entrusted me with when I am tired after a long day at work and I simply go through the motions during our evening routine. I am not sure how many times I have skipped pages of a book a child has requested I read, because this is my 7th book I am reading that evening or a requst for just one more kiss or to be a tickle monster and all I can think about are the dishes waiting in the sink, a kitchen to be cleaned and all that is involved in managing a household with four little ones. Or the times I have declined an offer from the kids to join them in dance or song, or paint or simply be silly. I spend way too much time in correcting and training and not enough time capturing the hearts of my kids and creating memories that can only happen if I am fully present. I really don't want to simply be the mom that trained up my kids in righteousness, but who never seized every request to engage in their play world. Because, lets face it, though I like a clean and neat house, the things that make the best memories are those moments we stop and let a child know they matter and we really care about them - even the hundredth pretend tea party, the story with a million "and then" that never seem to end and watching the same cartoon a hundred times and remembering to laugh at all the silly jokes!

All the things that seem important on my to do list appear silly when you read of a mom with empty hands after loving her child with lavish abandon for 2 years and 8 months and never, ever leaving his side. A mother who counts it all joy without a murmur of complaint every second God granted her with her precious child, even if it meant quitting her job, loosing her marriage and being housebound with her child who could not leave the house for the 2 years and 8 months of his life. Through every trial and tribulation, she counted it an honor and a privilege to minister her child. Baby Tripp's life and his mother's courage, love and sacrifice have spoken so deeply to my heart - to create magic in the mundane, re prioritize those things without lasting significance and more purposefully show my kids in word and action my all consuming love for them.