To me, Baby girl (2) looks average at 17 ½ pounds (though she is at the 95th percentile for weight and height). However, I visited my neighbor who has a one week baby born at 5 pounds and when I came back home, my baby looked like a giant!
I look at my four kids and I am so thankful to God for entrusting them in our care and can’t get over how blessed we truly are. We go to a barbecue and a family member who has not met our newest three (though the twins have been home for five months and we only live 1 ½ hours away) is amazed at how large our family has become and empathizes with us at the burden of having so “many” children and is sorry for us for the exponentially increased grocery bills! I had not actually thought if our food bill had increased – I guess that is food for thought for another day:)! But, it is hard to compare an increased food bill with the joys and blessings children bring. Oh that our society would begin to look at children as the blessings from God that they really are, and not an inconvenience that interfere with our food budgets, vacations or having time for ourselves. I could choose to focus on the few friends and family who have not acknowledged our new children - no card, no call inquiring how they are doing, no visits. Or I could choose to continue being on my knees thanking God for the countless others who have embraced our children and who are as excited about the wonderful blessings God has placed in our lives.
My fearless 17 month old daughter sits on a bench, falls on her face on the grass, thinks it is hilarious, picks herself up, brushes off her clothes and runs off giggling! I look on amused thinking what a brave and fearless girl I have and how far I have come four children later that I no longer get into a panic everytime a child falls. Hard to maintain panic when the same thing happens countless times a day! Two family members at the same barbecue later loudly "whisper" to each other insinuating how irresponsible I am for letting a young child sit alone on a bench (next to an adult).
After another night of baby girl keeping me awake, but still thankful to God that after only about four hours of sleep, I still wake up joyful and rejuvenated, a co-worker asks me who the real parents of my adopted children are! Whereas a few months ago I would have been offended and at a loss for words, I can now joyfully explain that the real dad is at home with the children and the real mom is standing right next to the co-worker speaking to her! All done with a real smile and the perplexed smile on my co-workers face is priceless!
I am consumed with the plight of the fatherless and continually wonder how God can use me now that my eyes have been opened. At least weekly, people tell me how special I am for adopting 3 children in one year. I can never get an appropriate response – we are a very ordinary family answering God’s call to care for the fatherless and we feel totally inadequate. However, we are humbled that the Lord God of the universe is growing and expanding us spiritually and has always supplied all our needs. My perspective has changed, I am now clear about whether 30 pairs of shoes are a need or a want!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
ObamaCare!
We still can't get the children on our health insurance plan until the adoptions are finalized and they are currently covered on our State's health care plan. We can sign them up with a pediatrician in a private practice who agrees to bill the State Health Insurance plan. However, both times we took the twins to a private practice that takes the state plan, I was paranoid because the nurses and pediatrician did not wash their hands before or after examining the children. And the pediatrician loves putting his fingers in the children's mouthes when he is playing with them! So, I was not taking the infant to him! Instead, I took Baby Girl (2) to a pediatrician at a public health clinic and boy! All, I could think of was this is what our health care will look like in a few years! Now, don't for a minute think I don't have empathy for the millions of unisured Americans. I have a pretty decent understanding of the shortcomings of our current health care system having mastered in healthcare administration. I am the first one who will argue for the need for reform to stem the unsustainable cost increases, the waste, inequities in acces to care, inefficiencies, etc. However, if reform looks like the kind of care I received - I don't know. I went to the pediatric clinic and went to the reception and patiently waited my turn. A clerk realized I must not have known the ropes since I was supposed to take a piece of paper and stamp my arrival time. He kindly asked me if I needed something! Okay, lady carrying a child into a pediatrician building and waiting at the reception desk, and do I need something? No hellos here, just a very brusque clerk signing you in. All this from a person wearing a badge stating they had won an award for customer service excellence! Hate to imagine what the "non-reciepients" of such awards do! When he realized I was not on public assistance (since I had to show legal paperwork authorising me to get medical attention for my child), suddenly his demeanor changed and he explained all the intricacies of the clinic! I find this totally shameful since everyone should be treated with dignity and respect whether or not you are receiving public assistance! Anyways, I was sent on my way to the pediatrician's office which happened to be upstairs and you had to carry an infant in a carseat up an uncovered stairwell in 100 degree weather (not sure why they don't use the numerous empty offices on the same floor as the reception). Once upstairs, you again have to figure where to put the mountains of paperwork you are given downstairs before waiting in a closed off waiting room (almost feel as though you have made a visit to a jail). The nurse then unlocks the doors and calls you in, and that is the last time she acknowledges your child is a person. No smile, just business. I did not earn alot of marks for using disinfectant wipes to clean the exam table and tape measure which were coated with dirt. The nurse rolled her eyes and said she did not know why I was cleaning it since she always cleaned it after every patient. However, the amount of filth on the wipes after the cleaning clearly told both of us, they had not seen any cleaning in years! Nice for the next patient because the nurse huffily wiped off everything after examing my daughter :)! The pediatrician was really nice and took his time to answer questions. That was the main redeeming factor of the visit. Of course I had to ask about such things as weight and height apparently since they do not share such info with parents! The wisdom of the powers that be at the public health clinic then make you go back to the waitingroom to wait for the nurse who will give your child their shots. Off again to the waitingroom, before being shephered into another room by a different nurse who would not even crack a smile to my supper smiley girl. Instead she jabbed her twice, turned around and started surfing the web! Everyone seemed apathetic (except the pediatrician) and really why should they care? They work for the public health dept and it would take an act of congress to get them fired for poor customer service. Is this where we are headed? The whole time I was thinking that this is what we can anticipate in a few years if Obama's healthcare "reform" passes.
To say I am scared of what our health care will be is understatement. In between raising a supper active 5 year old, 17 month old twins who recently begun walking and are currently exploring everything and oh yeah, raising an infant, I will make time to read the 1,000 page bill that most of our lawmakers will not read and which the supporters argue must be passed now! Hopefully, I will find things in there that will allay my fears. But in the meanwhile, I will remember to be grateful for my current private health insurance coverage and remember to thank my providers for the excellent care they provide my oldest, husband and myself - they really practice patient centered care.
To say I am scared of what our health care will be is understatement. In between raising a supper active 5 year old, 17 month old twins who recently begun walking and are currently exploring everything and oh yeah, raising an infant, I will make time to read the 1,000 page bill that most of our lawmakers will not read and which the supporters argue must be passed now! Hopefully, I will find things in there that will allay my fears. But in the meanwhile, I will remember to be grateful for my current private health insurance coverage and remember to thank my providers for the excellent care they provide my oldest, husband and myself - they really practice patient centered care.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Oh, This Grateful Heart!
Grateful for a five year old son with a giving heart who has embraced all the changes that we have thrown his way. He has totally bonded with his siblings and has had no problems sharing his mommy, daddy, toys and his trains! He has also been very good humored about having mommy or daddy delay meeting his “needs” since he has three younger siblings who are more vocal about getting their needs met right now! None of our concerns and those of others have materialized re: how he would cope with all the changes. It is amazing how many times we are asked how the oldest is doing with the addition of three new siblings in the last 4 months! Everyone always assumes that he will have jealousy issues and many have anecdotal tales of how their “friends” children reacted when they got new siblings. But, God has been good and he could not be more bonded – he loves, loves, loves his siblings. He did not even want to go with his cousin to visit his granddad that he loves when he realized his siblings would not be going. He even cried pitifully, saying he would really miss his brother! The look on his face when we told him his brother could join him was priceless! He took the role of big brother very seriously telling his granddad and cousin what his brother liked and did not like and what he could or could not eat!
Thankful for a few wonderful days in Disneyland to celebrate big brother’s fifth birthday! Oh how magical it is to experience Disney through the eyes of a child! We had a great time and loved every moment of it! We were also blessed with family that blessed us with discounted tickets. As much as big brother had prayed to go to Disneyland and had faithfully picked up every penny he saw so that he could help mommy buy a ticket to Disneyland, he was dismayed that his siblings would not be going to the park and almost decided he did not want to go. He campaigned really hard for them to join us meeting our protestations that they would miss their nap times and be cranky with the wisdom of a five year old, telling us they could sleep in their strollers. As much fun as he was having, the siblings were not far from his mind – he always saw things in the Disney stores that he said would make his siblings very happy! When we explained the inflated prices, he joyfully said we could use his money that he had been saving for ages to buy a train ticket! The boy loves trains, so that is a sacrifice! Oh what we could learn about sacrificial giving from a five year old. Really thankful for a sister who joyfully took care of three children at short notice. And had fun taking care of two 1-year olds and an infant who was not sleeping through the night. Thankful that my sister had a weight loss breakthrough – she has been dieting and exercising without visible results. Three days with the children and she lost almost 3 pounds!
Thankful that five years later, I am having sleepless nights thanks to an infant who decides she needs to remind me of her presence every single hour of the night – and all without me complaining! The bags under my eyes might tell a different story, but God has given me strength that I still feel renewed, even with my interrupted sleep. Thankful for the realization that children are indeed a blessing from God. Sometimes we are so caught up with how society views children – that they are a lot of work that we forget what precious blessings they are. As crazy as it is, it seems to be less “work” having four children as when I only had one. They play so well together freeing me to do some actual work, as opposed to when I was my son’s permanent playmate. Of course the fact that the children are so joyful and easy babies makes things easier. I have been wondering if our view of parenthood as “hard-work” is indeed based on our mindset. My parents had very many small children and never once did I hear them complain about how difficult raising children was. I am sure, I will be re-reading this when I have four teenagers and laughing at how naïve I was! But for now, I will enjoy my naïveté and my babies!
Thankful for a few wonderful days in Disneyland to celebrate big brother’s fifth birthday! Oh how magical it is to experience Disney through the eyes of a child! We had a great time and loved every moment of it! We were also blessed with family that blessed us with discounted tickets. As much as big brother had prayed to go to Disneyland and had faithfully picked up every penny he saw so that he could help mommy buy a ticket to Disneyland, he was dismayed that his siblings would not be going to the park and almost decided he did not want to go. He campaigned really hard for them to join us meeting our protestations that they would miss their nap times and be cranky with the wisdom of a five year old, telling us they could sleep in their strollers. As much fun as he was having, the siblings were not far from his mind – he always saw things in the Disney stores that he said would make his siblings very happy! When we explained the inflated prices, he joyfully said we could use his money that he had been saving for ages to buy a train ticket! The boy loves trains, so that is a sacrifice! Oh what we could learn about sacrificial giving from a five year old. Really thankful for a sister who joyfully took care of three children at short notice. And had fun taking care of two 1-year olds and an infant who was not sleeping through the night. Thankful that my sister had a weight loss breakthrough – she has been dieting and exercising without visible results. Three days with the children and she lost almost 3 pounds!
Thankful that five years later, I am having sleepless nights thanks to an infant who decides she needs to remind me of her presence every single hour of the night – and all without me complaining! The bags under my eyes might tell a different story, but God has given me strength that I still feel renewed, even with my interrupted sleep. Thankful for the realization that children are indeed a blessing from God. Sometimes we are so caught up with how society views children – that they are a lot of work that we forget what precious blessings they are. As crazy as it is, it seems to be less “work” having four children as when I only had one. They play so well together freeing me to do some actual work, as opposed to when I was my son’s permanent playmate. Of course the fact that the children are so joyful and easy babies makes things easier. I have been wondering if our view of parenthood as “hard-work” is indeed based on our mindset. My parents had very many small children and never once did I hear them complain about how difficult raising children was. I am sure, I will be re-reading this when I have four teenagers and laughing at how naïve I was! But for now, I will enjoy my naïveté and my babies!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Happy Father's Day!
What do you say to a guy who last father's day was daddy to one and this year is daddy to four? What do you say to a guy who totally gets adoption and actually encourages me that yes indeed, we are up to the challenge of adopting yet another precious child? What do you say to a guy who holds my hands and calmly says everthing will work out okay when financially it makes no sense how we will manage? The very same guy who will not let on to me how nervous he is so that I don't second guess what he knows is our calling, but instead will make himself vulnerable and seek others with whom he can share his nervousness and request for prayers? What do you tell a guy who works long hours in a high stress job he does not like so that he can provide for his family? What do you say to a guy who is goofy and fun and whose children think the world of him? A guy who will sneak in some fun stuff (and junk) creating special memories for his children? What to say to a guy who is striving to raise up his children in the ways of the Lord and will take a five year old to the park to discuss Christ and salvation when the five year old expresses that he wants Jesus in his heart. And same guy will be able to tell the salvation story in a way a five year old gets it! I don't know what to tell such a guy on father's day except I hit the jackpot when the Lord choose me as his wife.
It seems appropriate that on Father's day that I stand in awe of my heavenly Father. Two weeks ago, we welcomed the fourth child into her forever family. Baby girl came with a small plastic container of clothes and a voracious appetite. We are going through formula and diapers like crazy and I was a bit nervous because I had not been working, so things were very tight financially. However, our God is an amazing God and His timing never ceases to amaze me. With little forewarning about baby girl's arrival, my sister called the family and her friends and organized a welcome home party for baby girl. With only about a week's notice, yesterday more than 30 people showed up in my house and all I had to do was be there! Everyone brought tons of delicious food and we had a wonderful time of fellowship. We talked, sang, and heard a wonderful message from my sister's friend on parenting. Even after sending people off with doggie bags, our fridge is full of supper yummy leftovers. Even more overwhelming is the sacrifice everyone made. Almost everyone decided not to buy gifts and instead, gave us cash. I went to bed last night crying with joy and simply overwhelmed at how timely the gifts were and how generous everyone was. My husband was in awe and is still speechless today and that is saying something! Today, he celebrates Father's Day with a lighter burden knowing that friends and family all came together and very unexpectedly blessed us with almost $2,000! And I had not even shared with a soul how tight things were – so please don’t tell me this is just a coincidence and not God’s providence! We also got lots of diapers and clothes! And not just any clothes, but clothes from stores that mommy loves, but just can't justify/afford to shop at right now - Gymboree and The Children's Place. Oh, that I would always remember how faithful my savior is and never hesitate to be his hands and feet to bless others as we have been blessed. The Lord is good indeed!
It seems appropriate that on Father's day that I stand in awe of my heavenly Father. Two weeks ago, we welcomed the fourth child into her forever family. Baby girl came with a small plastic container of clothes and a voracious appetite. We are going through formula and diapers like crazy and I was a bit nervous because I had not been working, so things were very tight financially. However, our God is an amazing God and His timing never ceases to amaze me. With little forewarning about baby girl's arrival, my sister called the family and her friends and organized a welcome home party for baby girl. With only about a week's notice, yesterday more than 30 people showed up in my house and all I had to do was be there! Everyone brought tons of delicious food and we had a wonderful time of fellowship. We talked, sang, and heard a wonderful message from my sister's friend on parenting. Even after sending people off with doggie bags, our fridge is full of supper yummy leftovers. Even more overwhelming is the sacrifice everyone made. Almost everyone decided not to buy gifts and instead, gave us cash. I went to bed last night crying with joy and simply overwhelmed at how timely the gifts were and how generous everyone was. My husband was in awe and is still speechless today and that is saying something! Today, he celebrates Father's Day with a lighter burden knowing that friends and family all came together and very unexpectedly blessed us with almost $2,000! And I had not even shared with a soul how tight things were – so please don’t tell me this is just a coincidence and not God’s providence! We also got lots of diapers and clothes! And not just any clothes, but clothes from stores that mommy loves, but just can't justify/afford to shop at right now - Gymboree and The Children's Place. Oh, that I would always remember how faithful my savior is and never hesitate to be his hands and feet to bless others as we have been blessed. The Lord is good indeed!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
His Perfect Timing!
Fact: Sunday, May 17, 2009, we knew we had to move out by Saturday, May 23, 2009 to prepare our condo for our tenants who were moving in from out of town May 30, 2009. We needed to take advantage of all the willing hands available on the weekend to help us pack. But, some problem: we did not have a place to move into yet! Unlike my normal self, totally okay with the unpredictability of our situation making my husband kinda nervous at how calm and relaxed I was.
Fact: Monday, May 18, 2009, in the afternoon, saw a place we liked. Tired of looking at places and not wanting to get our hopes up too high!
Fact: Tuesday, May 19, 2009, got a call from the listing agent at the management company inquiring if we were interested in the place. Also got a call from the owner of the management company requesting that we deal directly with him once we identified a place we liked. This was something since the management company manages more than 600 properties, so in the grand scheme of things, he could very easily have brushed us off. I had gently expressed my displeasure at being strung along for three weeks on a place which the management company knew the owner was not willing to install the AC unit (which was a deal breaker for us). Additionally, the listing agent had been less than enthusiastic in describing the new place when I had called to inquire if there were any other listings that fit our criteria and we had almost skipped looking at the place. We said we liked the place, and by afternoon, they had checked out our suitability as renters and found us worthy and the lease ready to be signed that afternoon! Hubby was not available and that day, so we scheduled to meet the next day. Niece arrived from the Midwest and it became even more paramount that we get a place to stay!
Fact: Wednesday, May 20, 2009, my supper organized friend came over bringing tons of boxes and helped box things along with my supper organized and helpful niece. Signed lease, got keys, went by the place and fell in love with the place all over again!
Fact: Thursday, May 21, 2009, moved in all our kitchen things, organized the kitchen, locked myself out and met my neighbor who let into her house to wait for my husband. Hubby called friends and family requesting help in moving.
Fact: Friday, May 22, 2009, day of total gratitude at just how things had fallen into place.
Fact: Saturday, May 23, 2009, had lots of help and total moving lasted about 3 hours. Easiest move any of us had ever had! Totally stress free and actually quite fun! Maybe leaving everything in God’s hands is the cure for stress?
Fact: Sunday, May 24, 2009, found out just how many people were praying that we would get a place ASAP!
Fact: could not have found a better place! We love it, it is spacious and the neighbors are amazing. Children play outside unsupervised and the neighborhood kids have even come by to get my oldest to go play with them, the neighbors are very friendly and have come by to introduce themselves (and in California no less where people prize their privacy over real human relationships) and I even met a home schooling mom who invited me over to her place. I love that God sees the whole picture which my finite mind cannot see! He had the perfect place for us and we can only shout Hallelujah!
Fact: Monday, May 18, 2009, in the afternoon, saw a place we liked. Tired of looking at places and not wanting to get our hopes up too high!
Fact: Tuesday, May 19, 2009, got a call from the listing agent at the management company inquiring if we were interested in the place. Also got a call from the owner of the management company requesting that we deal directly with him once we identified a place we liked. This was something since the management company manages more than 600 properties, so in the grand scheme of things, he could very easily have brushed us off. I had gently expressed my displeasure at being strung along for three weeks on a place which the management company knew the owner was not willing to install the AC unit (which was a deal breaker for us). Additionally, the listing agent had been less than enthusiastic in describing the new place when I had called to inquire if there were any other listings that fit our criteria and we had almost skipped looking at the place. We said we liked the place, and by afternoon, they had checked out our suitability as renters and found us worthy and the lease ready to be signed that afternoon! Hubby was not available and that day, so we scheduled to meet the next day. Niece arrived from the Midwest and it became even more paramount that we get a place to stay!
Fact: Wednesday, May 20, 2009, my supper organized friend came over bringing tons of boxes and helped box things along with my supper organized and helpful niece. Signed lease, got keys, went by the place and fell in love with the place all over again!
Fact: Thursday, May 21, 2009, moved in all our kitchen things, organized the kitchen, locked myself out and met my neighbor who let into her house to wait for my husband. Hubby called friends and family requesting help in moving.
Fact: Friday, May 22, 2009, day of total gratitude at just how things had fallen into place.
Fact: Saturday, May 23, 2009, had lots of help and total moving lasted about 3 hours. Easiest move any of us had ever had! Totally stress free and actually quite fun! Maybe leaving everything in God’s hands is the cure for stress?
Fact: Sunday, May 24, 2009, found out just how many people were praying that we would get a place ASAP!
Fact: could not have found a better place! We love it, it is spacious and the neighbors are amazing. Children play outside unsupervised and the neighborhood kids have even come by to get my oldest to go play with them, the neighbors are very friendly and have come by to introduce themselves (and in California no less where people prize their privacy over real human relationships) and I even met a home schooling mom who invited me over to her place. I love that God sees the whole picture which my finite mind cannot see! He had the perfect place for us and we can only shout Hallelujah!
Monday, May 18, 2009
Should I Be Panicking?
As of today, we have renters who move in at the end of the month and we are of the mindset that we will have moved out in a week's time so that we can prepare our place for the new renters. Also as of today, we do not know where we will be moving to! We have been strung (sp?) along by the management company regarding the place we loved for 2 1/2 weeks. The agreement was that the owner would install the AC unit already onsite and lack of AC would be a deal breaker for us. Today it was 98 degrees, so any thoughts that we can make do sans AC went out the window as we enjoyed staying indoors in an air conditioned house. The AC broke down in church and after 1 1/2 of torture, we know, no AC, no moving into said beloved house. The management company has been stalling us, leading us to believe that the owner had given the okay to install the AC unit and that the only hold up was sending someone out to do the work. Come to find out, they were also still advertising the place online and putting for lease signs after we put in the application! I think, the idea was to stall us and see if someone else would lease the place without the AC. If not, we were the back up plan! Not fun finding this out about a week before we are to move in!
We are now in a rush to find another place - including putting in an application with a different management company for another house which was our second choice and having to go through an interview with the owners! That was an awkward meeting! No-one know exactly what to say - I mean on paper we are perfect renters - even I would rent out a place to us :) and I am not sure what more the owners wanted to know since they did not ask many questions. The kids though had fun playing with the owners new puppy which they brought along for the interview. All we learnt was that they are attached to the house because the lady was pregnant with their son when they moved to the house and that her dad put in the kitchen cabinets. Don't know if we passed the interview - we were rather out of sorts - hubby was called into work at midnight and got home this morning just in time to get ready for church. So while he was sleepy, I was out of sorts because I literally wilt when it is hot outside! Yes, even after having lived in Nairobi, Kenya for years. Its always funny since people assume that I should be used to hot temperatures after having lived in Africa and California should be a breeze. The irony is that it is hotter where I live than it ever is in Nairobi. Nairobi has 2 hot months in the year where the temperatures reach 78 degrees! As surprising as this is for Americans, the laws of geography apply to Africa - the higher the elevation, the cooler it gets!
So, here we are - my niece is on college summer break and is coming to visit us from the Midwest on Tuesday. I knew she was coming, but was not sure when, and I just found out today when she is coming, which reminds me that I need to go shop for a mattress tomorrow. I have not packed anything, changed my address with the post office or made any calls re transferring the utilities since I don't know where we will be living! I am a bit obsessive compulsive about planning major things like a move, but I am so relaxed and just praying that things fall into place. Of course, I am doing all that I know how to make that happen, but this must be victory that I am not worried in the least. Last week it just occurred to me that worrying about the situation would not change a thing! I think it helps that I am still overwhelmed at our wonderful blessings from the Lord. Who cares if our things will be in storage and we will have to figure where to house our family of 5 plus our guest for who knows how long! I am so busy chasing almost walking toddlers who are now getting into everything - that and getting attacked daily to be given thousands of hugs and slobbery kisses by said toddlers! Its a bit hard to burden friends or family to house such a large family - though several have generously offered. My husband who is a total worrier is actually quite excited at the uncertainty of everyting - he is suggesting a cross country trip. Not sure how that helps in getting us closer to finding a place - but whatever helps him not to worry. I am happy to help him day dream.
We are now in a rush to find another place - including putting in an application with a different management company for another house which was our second choice and having to go through an interview with the owners! That was an awkward meeting! No-one know exactly what to say - I mean on paper we are perfect renters - even I would rent out a place to us :) and I am not sure what more the owners wanted to know since they did not ask many questions. The kids though had fun playing with the owners new puppy which they brought along for the interview. All we learnt was that they are attached to the house because the lady was pregnant with their son when they moved to the house and that her dad put in the kitchen cabinets. Don't know if we passed the interview - we were rather out of sorts - hubby was called into work at midnight and got home this morning just in time to get ready for church. So while he was sleepy, I was out of sorts because I literally wilt when it is hot outside! Yes, even after having lived in Nairobi, Kenya for years. Its always funny since people assume that I should be used to hot temperatures after having lived in Africa and California should be a breeze. The irony is that it is hotter where I live than it ever is in Nairobi. Nairobi has 2 hot months in the year where the temperatures reach 78 degrees! As surprising as this is for Americans, the laws of geography apply to Africa - the higher the elevation, the cooler it gets!
So, here we are - my niece is on college summer break and is coming to visit us from the Midwest on Tuesday. I knew she was coming, but was not sure when, and I just found out today when she is coming, which reminds me that I need to go shop for a mattress tomorrow. I have not packed anything, changed my address with the post office or made any calls re transferring the utilities since I don't know where we will be living! I am a bit obsessive compulsive about planning major things like a move, but I am so relaxed and just praying that things fall into place. Of course, I am doing all that I know how to make that happen, but this must be victory that I am not worried in the least. Last week it just occurred to me that worrying about the situation would not change a thing! I think it helps that I am still overwhelmed at our wonderful blessings from the Lord. Who cares if our things will be in storage and we will have to figure where to house our family of 5 plus our guest for who knows how long! I am so busy chasing almost walking toddlers who are now getting into everything - that and getting attacked daily to be given thousands of hugs and slobbery kisses by said toddlers! Its a bit hard to burden friends or family to house such a large family - though several have generously offered. My husband who is a total worrier is actually quite excited at the uncertainty of everyting - he is suggesting a cross country trip. Not sure how that helps in getting us closer to finding a place - but whatever helps him not to worry. I am happy to help him day dream.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Blessings upon Blessings.
I used to be surprised reading adoption blogs at the "silence" once the children came home. However, two months since the kids coming home, here I am doing that very thing! The kids are so easy, but I am not sure what happens to my day! I know I have not done all the things I had planned to do - like going through my wardrope and getting rid of all the size 2 and 4 clothes that I will never fit into again! Thankfully, I will soon be walking around with an infant and I can pretend she is responsible for my belly fat!
The kids are doing great - they recognize and look for us in a room full of people. However, we are still working on my son's attachment - he is a cuddle bug and loves to be held and cuddled, but he is just as happy being picked up and cuddled by a stranger! He finally learned to cry to get his needs met - that was huge because before he never even whimpered when he was hungry, wet or awake and needed to be picked up. His twin sister would take his toys and he would just look at her like whatever! He is finding his voice and making his needs known and I am happy - I never thought I would will a child to cry! He is also a sensory eater which makes meal times interesting since I have to make him a separate meal, my daughter a separate meal and then a meal for ourselves. The early interventionist will be giving us some materials to read to try and work on the sensory eating issues. They are doing great at the weekly early intervention visits and we will be getting a report that details where they are and also the goals the interventionist will be setting for them. The interventionist feels they are meeting most of their age adjusted milestones though speech continues to be an issue. She did give us some good ideas on things to do to help with speech. They are actually a couple months ahead on some issues - they are able to point to their eyes, mouth, nose, head and tummy when you ask them to point out these body parts.
We continue to be blessed and God continues to be faithful! The social worker came by today to bring a huge bag of clothes and shoes for my daughter. I don't think there has ever been a better dressed little girl than my daughter - and no thanks to her mommy and daddy! Friends from church are also planning another shower and honestly, I cannot think of anything we need - except diapers! We have been showered with so many gifts and it seems like every week, someone sends gifts of new clothes for the children. In two months, my daughter and son have not worn the majority of their clothes twice - they have that large of a wardrope! Their clothes are mainly from Gymboree, Old Navy, The Children's Place and Gap - places I am usually too cheap to shop at for children's clothes since they grow out of them so fast.
We finally found a renter and they will be moving in at the end of this month. We also found a place we love - we are just waiting to see if the owner is willing to hook up the AC unit. They bought a new AC unit, but never hooked it up. Right now, it does not seem to be a big issue with temps in the 60s and 70s, but after a couple days in the summer where the temps are in the 90s, then moving into a house we love but which does not have AC will not seem to be such a bright idea! The backyard is beautiful and huge. The rent also includes a gardener for which my husband is well pleased! I am having visions of even starting a garden - my husband rolls his eyes and laughs - I kill houseplants within a couple weeks so it would take a little more blind faith than he has to believe I will actually grow some crops to harvest. But just you wait - I will prove him wrong and make my father proud - my dad does not have a family farm for no reason! This city girl will get her hands dirty and grow some organic vegetables. With help from my four year old, I cannot go wrong - he has faithfully watered a plant he got me last mother's day and it is still going strong. We had found another place we liked, but once we got there, the owner would not show us the place because she said she was not looking to rent to people with children??? A four bedroom house and she expected renters without children? Anyway in California, it is illegal not to rent a place to people due to familial status (hoping that is what it was and not something more) and we are filing a complaint with Fair Housing. We do not intend to move there - we just to remind the owner about rental laws in California - she ought to have known better since she is a realtor. Not too sad about not getting this place - I am sure the huge patio advertised would not have fulfilled my needs to start a garden - last time I tried growing anything on my small unadvertised patio, I bought expensive plants and a couple of months later, all I had to show for it were large and very empty flower pots. At least the pots are cute - the sorta explain why the very lush weeds left in the wake of my failed attempts to grow potted plants. But now, with a real garden, oh the possibilities.
The kids are doing great - they recognize and look for us in a room full of people. However, we are still working on my son's attachment - he is a cuddle bug and loves to be held and cuddled, but he is just as happy being picked up and cuddled by a stranger! He finally learned to cry to get his needs met - that was huge because before he never even whimpered when he was hungry, wet or awake and needed to be picked up. His twin sister would take his toys and he would just look at her like whatever! He is finding his voice and making his needs known and I am happy - I never thought I would will a child to cry! He is also a sensory eater which makes meal times interesting since I have to make him a separate meal, my daughter a separate meal and then a meal for ourselves. The early interventionist will be giving us some materials to read to try and work on the sensory eating issues. They are doing great at the weekly early intervention visits and we will be getting a report that details where they are and also the goals the interventionist will be setting for them. The interventionist feels they are meeting most of their age adjusted milestones though speech continues to be an issue. She did give us some good ideas on things to do to help with speech. They are actually a couple months ahead on some issues - they are able to point to their eyes, mouth, nose, head and tummy when you ask them to point out these body parts.
We continue to be blessed and God continues to be faithful! The social worker came by today to bring a huge bag of clothes and shoes for my daughter. I don't think there has ever been a better dressed little girl than my daughter - and no thanks to her mommy and daddy! Friends from church are also planning another shower and honestly, I cannot think of anything we need - except diapers! We have been showered with so many gifts and it seems like every week, someone sends gifts of new clothes for the children. In two months, my daughter and son have not worn the majority of their clothes twice - they have that large of a wardrope! Their clothes are mainly from Gymboree, Old Navy, The Children's Place and Gap - places I am usually too cheap to shop at for children's clothes since they grow out of them so fast.
We finally found a renter and they will be moving in at the end of this month. We also found a place we love - we are just waiting to see if the owner is willing to hook up the AC unit. They bought a new AC unit, but never hooked it up. Right now, it does not seem to be a big issue with temps in the 60s and 70s, but after a couple days in the summer where the temps are in the 90s, then moving into a house we love but which does not have AC will not seem to be such a bright idea! The backyard is beautiful and huge. The rent also includes a gardener for which my husband is well pleased! I am having visions of even starting a garden - my husband rolls his eyes and laughs - I kill houseplants within a couple weeks so it would take a little more blind faith than he has to believe I will actually grow some crops to harvest. But just you wait - I will prove him wrong and make my father proud - my dad does not have a family farm for no reason! This city girl will get her hands dirty and grow some organic vegetables. With help from my four year old, I cannot go wrong - he has faithfully watered a plant he got me last mother's day and it is still going strong. We had found another place we liked, but once we got there, the owner would not show us the place because she said she was not looking to rent to people with children??? A four bedroom house and she expected renters without children? Anyway in California, it is illegal not to rent a place to people due to familial status (hoping that is what it was and not something more) and we are filing a complaint with Fair Housing. We do not intend to move there - we just to remind the owner about rental laws in California - she ought to have known better since she is a realtor. Not too sad about not getting this place - I am sure the huge patio advertised would not have fulfilled my needs to start a garden - last time I tried growing anything on my small unadvertised patio, I bought expensive plants and a couple of months later, all I had to show for it were large and very empty flower pots. At least the pots are cute - the sorta explain why the very lush weeds left in the wake of my failed attempts to grow potted plants. But now, with a real garden, oh the possibilities.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Pray for Me.....Pray for others
We participate in "Pray for Me... Pray for Others" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check out their blog to add your prayer request. Join a community of friends who care about you, and hope you will care about them.We are still looking for a rental place and a renter for our condo. It is a bit discouraging at times as our lives seem to be in limbo. We can't really give a timeline to any prospective renters without having a place to move to! We thought in this economy and the housing situation being what it is in California that we would have found a reasonably priced place. We cannot really proceed with the infant's adoption until we move - we can get a space exemption and the social worker is ready to work on this, but realistically, we have no room for the baby and want to minimize the stress of welcoming an infant, then packing and moving. Our prayer would be to move and have the infant's room ready on her gotcha day. I can't seem to be able to give anyone any definate answers - our agency or potential renters! Praying for guidance and that the Lord would be glorified in how the situation is resolved. We are still committed to the referral and wish we could kick things in higher gear.
This week my heart has been heavy thinking of baby Stellan (mycharmingkids.net) and the incredible toll a long term hospital stay with a very ill baby must be on a family. My heart has also been heavy for baby Matty Matt's family (prayformatt.blogspot.com) and the pain of losing a baby. This is an incredible family whose blog will inspire your faith and make you look deeper at the meaning of love, sacrifice and understanding and acceptancing God's sovereignity.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Praise!
The children had their first visit with the early interventionist yesterday and the interventionist seemed surprised at their progress. I was able to read the case notes from teh January Evaluation report and I can see why she was surprised! The kids have made a lot of progress. We spent the two hours mostly playing with the kids and talking about any concerns we have. The first visit was mainly to observe the children since this is not the same person who evaluated the children. They are working on all the children's global domains and speech is the most obvious concern that I had noticed. This was also noted on the January evaluation report and the pediatrician also mentioned this during their visit last week. The children understand a lot, babble like crazy, but don't really say any words yet. Their adjusted age is 12 months so we are not totally worried. We are speaking and reading to the children a lot. Speech Therapy only commences at 18 months, so hopefully by then, they will have caught up. My causing waves produced results - the early interventionist's supervisor joined her for the evaluation yesterday and at the end, she gave me her card and told me to call her directly if I ever have any concerns.
We are also working with their case manager and have requested a copy of their evaluation report since it seems that physical therapy was recommended for both children. No copy was ever sent to the children's social worker or foster mom, so no body knew about the recommendation for both children. A different agency was supposed to provide the Physical Therapy services, so we have to call yet another agency to coordinate care. After the calls to the supervisor and agency director, the children's case manager has been suberb at getting back to me and has in fact initiated calls to both myself and the social worker. I am now confident we are all on the same page, and I think she knows I will advocate for these children and will not allow them to fall through the cracks again.
We are also working with their case manager and have requested a copy of their evaluation report since it seems that physical therapy was recommended for both children. No copy was ever sent to the children's social worker or foster mom, so no body knew about the recommendation for both children. A different agency was supposed to provide the Physical Therapy services, so we have to call yet another agency to coordinate care. After the calls to the supervisor and agency director, the children's case manager has been suberb at getting back to me and has in fact initiated calls to both myself and the social worker. I am now confident we are all on the same page, and I think she knows I will advocate for these children and will not allow them to fall through the cracks again.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Long Overdue Update!
Time to break the silence! Our laptop decided to take a break and we had not been planning to buy a new computer for a while. But, we finally broke down - you only get an hour time slot a day at the Library to use the computer and with three children in tow - not too much fun!
The babies have been home for five weeks now. Their gotcha day was amazing and we are so blessed. It was really tough picking up the children from their foster home - their foster mom cried through out the pick - up and it that was tough. Once we got home, we had 30 people come to welcome the babies home and they could not have been shown more love. The kids have such sweet dispositions and are such easy babies. They have an easy smile and laugh and have really good sleep habits. They sleep twelve hours at night and take two naps of about 2 1/2 hours each daily. I love fixing my daughter's hair and she has such a diva wardrope courtesy of all my friends and family. My son also made out like a bandit and so far, he has not gone through all his new clothes. We also got tons of diapers and wipes which is such a blessing - boy do they go through many diapers in a day! Some friends got us a crib, mattress and beddings. We already had another crib and mattress so we are set in that area. My husband also went to the cleaners and met a couple who were trying to donate some baby furniture and they gave him a crib, mattress, dresser and play pen. All are almost new and in excellent condition. Our God is an awesome God. We are so totally stepping out in faith on this journey, and He has been so faithful. We are still pursuing the referral of the infant girl and we will have a crib for her to sleep in. I will write more on that journey later.
It takes me a couple hours to get everyone ready for church - my husband has to leave earlier for Sunday School and I am so proud of myself because I get there on time!
Their big brother continues to amaze me. God really prepared his heart for his new role as a big brother and he just loves on his siblings and always wants us to pick him up early from pre-school so that he can play with them. The first week they were home, we took our oldest who loves, loves, loves Thomas the Train to a live Thomas the Train Circus show (Broadway type show) and at the intermission, he told us he wanted to go home to play with his siblings! Now that is love! We have been very intentional in making sure we set aside time for him and his special time in Monday nights. We put the twins to bed an hour earlier and he gets to go to bed later. So far we have just talked, goofed around, played bingo (yes the kid loves playing Thomas the Train bingo), hide and seek - the goofball hides in the exact two spots all the time but my husband and I still manage to look surprised when we find him :)! He has been so loving and protective - he chastizes us if we say no to his siblings - he tells us that it is okay, they are just babies and they do not know better! He has been so good about sharing all his toys, reading to the kids and being mommy's helper. Strange, but it is the best sound ever - when the kids should all be sleeping, I hear them having a party! I have snuck in a few times to find the twins standing up in their cribs, jumping up and down and laughing their hearts out while my oldest is entertaining them, making silly faces! You should see their faces when they see me as they all try to lay down and pretend to be asleep and I try to have my serious face on whhile trying desperately not to laugh. It seems like they have been together forever.
The twins are now standing on their own and will be walking soon! We did have to go to the ER once to get a breathing treatment - my youngest son was wheezing pretty bad. We think both may be asthmatic - both have had to go to the ER for wheezing before. They are still eating pureed food though they are 14 months old. They got a late start eating and gag on solid foods. We start seeing an early intervention specialist next week and hopefully this will get addressed. Earlier on, the kids' social worker had said that the children had some developmental delays which would resolve on their own and that only my youngest son needed Occupational Therapy because of his torticollis. I remember wondering about needing OT for this but did not give it much thought. I called their case manager who had assessed the children in January and after a week of not returning my calls, I finally got a hold of her. She said that Physical Therapy was ordered and wanted to find out how the early intervention visits with Baby boy were going?????? This was news as the foster mom and social workers did not know about the recommendation for early intervention services. I spoke to their case worker again and she advised that she had looked into their case file and that PT was not recommended - they felt the torticollis would resolve on its own - though it still has not - but that both children needed early intervention services to address the developmental delays. Now their current pediatrician had noted developmental delays in October, the assessement was done in January, but their case worker had neglected to mention the recommendations and send a referral to the agency that would be sending the early intervention specialist out! I have called numerous times in the last month and their case manager would not return my calls. I finally had to speak to the agency director and within minutes, I got a call back and the referral sent to the agency that would be providing the services. Their case manager totally dropped the ball on this one and the annoying thing is that she did not even apologize for not returning my calls, taking almost four months to send a referral to the other agency, but instead, she was pretty annoyed that I took the matter up with the agency director and she even went as far as lying that she had returned all my calls and that it had only taken a day from the first contact to when she sent the referral. But all is well that ends well! We are getting services starting next week. She still needs to send me a worksheet with excercises for Baby Boy that we should have been doing 2X a day for the torticollis. This is the same case manager who will be doing their re-evaluation in July, so fun, fun, fun. She promised 4 weeks ago to mail me the worksheet and also a copy of the evaluation report, but so far, nada! I really hated having to call her director, normally I hate causing waves, but these precious children have suffered much, already fallen through the cracks once and God has entrusted them in my care. I promised to fight and advocate for them, and that requires me not to listen to the butterflies in my tummy when I have to cause waves in fighting for them, but to be firm, stand tall and be their voice.
We are blessed beyond belief - God has provided all our needs and beyond and it has been a wonderful time of bonding and meshing into a family. My husband took 6 weeks off and it is amazing how fast the time has gone. We are praying and believing that I can be a stay at home mom. Right now, the game plan is for me to be home for three months, go back to work and then my husband takes on the next three months. After that, we pray that everything will fall into place in terms of me being a stay at home mom or if that is not financially feasible, getting a live in nanny. The children have been through so much change in their short lives, we are hoping to minimize any more changes as much as we can. All in His hands. God is Good!
The babies have been home for five weeks now. Their gotcha day was amazing and we are so blessed. It was really tough picking up the children from their foster home - their foster mom cried through out the pick - up and it that was tough. Once we got home, we had 30 people come to welcome the babies home and they could not have been shown more love. The kids have such sweet dispositions and are such easy babies. They have an easy smile and laugh and have really good sleep habits. They sleep twelve hours at night and take two naps of about 2 1/2 hours each daily. I love fixing my daughter's hair and she has such a diva wardrope courtesy of all my friends and family. My son also made out like a bandit and so far, he has not gone through all his new clothes. We also got tons of diapers and wipes which is such a blessing - boy do they go through many diapers in a day! Some friends got us a crib, mattress and beddings. We already had another crib and mattress so we are set in that area. My husband also went to the cleaners and met a couple who were trying to donate some baby furniture and they gave him a crib, mattress, dresser and play pen. All are almost new and in excellent condition. Our God is an awesome God. We are so totally stepping out in faith on this journey, and He has been so faithful. We are still pursuing the referral of the infant girl and we will have a crib for her to sleep in. I will write more on that journey later.
It takes me a couple hours to get everyone ready for church - my husband has to leave earlier for Sunday School and I am so proud of myself because I get there on time!
Their big brother continues to amaze me. God really prepared his heart for his new role as a big brother and he just loves on his siblings and always wants us to pick him up early from pre-school so that he can play with them. The first week they were home, we took our oldest who loves, loves, loves Thomas the Train to a live Thomas the Train Circus show (Broadway type show) and at the intermission, he told us he wanted to go home to play with his siblings! Now that is love! We have been very intentional in making sure we set aside time for him and his special time in Monday nights. We put the twins to bed an hour earlier and he gets to go to bed later. So far we have just talked, goofed around, played bingo (yes the kid loves playing Thomas the Train bingo), hide and seek - the goofball hides in the exact two spots all the time but my husband and I still manage to look surprised when we find him :)! He has been so loving and protective - he chastizes us if we say no to his siblings - he tells us that it is okay, they are just babies and they do not know better! He has been so good about sharing all his toys, reading to the kids and being mommy's helper. Strange, but it is the best sound ever - when the kids should all be sleeping, I hear them having a party! I have snuck in a few times to find the twins standing up in their cribs, jumping up and down and laughing their hearts out while my oldest is entertaining them, making silly faces! You should see their faces when they see me as they all try to lay down and pretend to be asleep and I try to have my serious face on whhile trying desperately not to laugh. It seems like they have been together forever.
The twins are now standing on their own and will be walking soon! We did have to go to the ER once to get a breathing treatment - my youngest son was wheezing pretty bad. We think both may be asthmatic - both have had to go to the ER for wheezing before. They are still eating pureed food though they are 14 months old. They got a late start eating and gag on solid foods. We start seeing an early intervention specialist next week and hopefully this will get addressed. Earlier on, the kids' social worker had said that the children had some developmental delays which would resolve on their own and that only my youngest son needed Occupational Therapy because of his torticollis. I remember wondering about needing OT for this but did not give it much thought. I called their case manager who had assessed the children in January and after a week of not returning my calls, I finally got a hold of her. She said that Physical Therapy was ordered and wanted to find out how the early intervention visits with Baby boy were going?????? This was news as the foster mom and social workers did not know about the recommendation for early intervention services. I spoke to their case worker again and she advised that she had looked into their case file and that PT was not recommended - they felt the torticollis would resolve on its own - though it still has not - but that both children needed early intervention services to address the developmental delays. Now their current pediatrician had noted developmental delays in October, the assessement was done in January, but their case worker had neglected to mention the recommendations and send a referral to the agency that would be sending the early intervention specialist out! I have called numerous times in the last month and their case manager would not return my calls. I finally had to speak to the agency director and within minutes, I got a call back and the referral sent to the agency that would be providing the services. Their case manager totally dropped the ball on this one and the annoying thing is that she did not even apologize for not returning my calls, taking almost four months to send a referral to the other agency, but instead, she was pretty annoyed that I took the matter up with the agency director and she even went as far as lying that she had returned all my calls and that it had only taken a day from the first contact to when she sent the referral. But all is well that ends well! We are getting services starting next week. She still needs to send me a worksheet with excercises for Baby Boy that we should have been doing 2X a day for the torticollis. This is the same case manager who will be doing their re-evaluation in July, so fun, fun, fun. She promised 4 weeks ago to mail me the worksheet and also a copy of the evaluation report, but so far, nada! I really hated having to call her director, normally I hate causing waves, but these precious children have suffered much, already fallen through the cracks once and God has entrusted them in my care. I promised to fight and advocate for them, and that requires me not to listen to the butterflies in my tummy when I have to cause waves in fighting for them, but to be firm, stand tall and be their voice.
We are blessed beyond belief - God has provided all our needs and beyond and it has been a wonderful time of bonding and meshing into a family. My husband took 6 weeks off and it is amazing how fast the time has gone. We are praying and believing that I can be a stay at home mom. Right now, the game plan is for me to be home for three months, go back to work and then my husband takes on the next three months. After that, we pray that everything will fall into place in terms of me being a stay at home mom or if that is not financially feasible, getting a live in nanny. The children have been through so much change in their short lives, we are hoping to minimize any more changes as much as we can. All in His hands. God is Good!
Friday, March 6, 2009
My babies love Food!
My husband and I picked up the kids for an afternoon visit today. We went to Costco and they wanted all the samples on offer. They were in heaven eating solid food, since they are still eating baby food. From their reaction when they would see yet another sample, you would think they had been starved. But their size tells another story! I wish I can share a picture of their thighs! All rolls of fat! I had no idea that the price of diapers has gone up 25% in 2 1/2 years which was the last time I was buying diapers in bulk!
It is so neat having twins - so many people would stop us to ask if they were twins and would then just hang around and chat. One lady told us how lucky we were to have a boy and a girl at a go and that we were now done! Little did she know that we have an older sibling and have just accepted a referral for an infant! I had not really thought about it, but by American standards, we will actually be considered a large family! A year ago, I was mommy to one with thoughts of adopting one other child. A year later, I am mommy to four! Amazing the journey the Lord leads you on when you are willing to be obedient and follow His leading. This is totally a journey of faith and is not normally how we would do things. Normally, we want to know how all the chips will fall. But on this, we have decided to live out our faith and know that God will provide all our needs.
Tomorrow is gotcha day! The social worker had wanted us to have the children for an overnight visit on Saturday before getting them permanently on Monday. After some discussion, it was decided that it did not make much difference returning the children on Sunday evening, only to get them again on Monday. I spent most of the morning cleaning up and after the visit, spent hours just trying to get ready. I still feel unprepared - since I have been working and visiting the kids almost every other day after work, I have not really had much time to nest and get ready. Yesterday was my last day at work and since the kids take such long naps during the day, I hope to get more organized, downsize more and then start looking for a renter for our place and looking for a new place to rent. I want to be in our new place by the time the infant comes home (in a few months - or less considering how fast it has taken from referral to getting the twins). My heart is so full and I feel totally blessed.
It is so neat having twins - so many people would stop us to ask if they were twins and would then just hang around and chat. One lady told us how lucky we were to have a boy and a girl at a go and that we were now done! Little did she know that we have an older sibling and have just accepted a referral for an infant! I had not really thought about it, but by American standards, we will actually be considered a large family! A year ago, I was mommy to one with thoughts of adopting one other child. A year later, I am mommy to four! Amazing the journey the Lord leads you on when you are willing to be obedient and follow His leading. This is totally a journey of faith and is not normally how we would do things. Normally, we want to know how all the chips will fall. But on this, we have decided to live out our faith and know that God will provide all our needs.
Tomorrow is gotcha day! The social worker had wanted us to have the children for an overnight visit on Saturday before getting them permanently on Monday. After some discussion, it was decided that it did not make much difference returning the children on Sunday evening, only to get them again on Monday. I spent most of the morning cleaning up and after the visit, spent hours just trying to get ready. I still feel unprepared - since I have been working and visiting the kids almost every other day after work, I have not really had much time to nest and get ready. Yesterday was my last day at work and since the kids take such long naps during the day, I hope to get more organized, downsize more and then start looking for a renter for our place and looking for a new place to rent. I want to be in our new place by the time the infant comes home (in a few months - or less considering how fast it has taken from referral to getting the twins). My heart is so full and I feel totally blessed.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
L'il Troopers!
Today, I had a baby shower at work. We had the priviledge and honor of introducing our new kids to my co-workers who have all been so supportive and encouraging! As soon as I told my co-workers about the children, within a couple of days, they had organized a baby shower and today, we were totally blessed with all the gifts we got. We got car seats, tons of clothes, bottles, cups, bibs, gift certificates, and lots of other stuff. The organizers even remembered to include my son and he got to open his own gifts. He had a blast and was so caring about his siblings and making sure they had their snacks and bottles. The babies were such troopers-they missed their morning nap, but were so friendly and not cranky at all. I was so moved by everyone's generosity. I am so blessed to work in a place where people get adoption. I only knew of one other adoptive parent at my job, but found out that one of the attorneys at my job is also an adoptive mom. It is amazing the sense of community and kinship you feel with other adoptive parents, because they "get" it. My husband got to spend the whole afternoon with all three kids and he was even getting adventurous and wanting to go to the store with all three kids until he remembered the crazy logistics of trying to hold two super heavy kids (no double stroller yet) push a cart and make sure a four year old is in his line of vision. He quickly let go of that plan!
Everyone has been so encouraging and I have only gotten a few bizarre comments. One person who was very "concerned" for me told me how much work three kids are (she only has one grown son) and asked me if I still had time to change my mind???? I was a bit at a loss - it is not exactly like you wake up one morning and decide that adoption seems to be a good thing to do. This coming from some one from India which has the largest number of aids orphans in the world and where infanticide of girls is rampant. Living in a country where there are so many resources and where having female children is not considered a drain on a family's resources, I would have hoped that she would have gotten more empathy for the fatherless. I guess this view of children as just more work or a financial burden is what causes the apathy that allows 143 million children in the world to be forgotten. Another bizarre comment I got was why I did not just have another biological child or children. When I explained my reasons, the person said she would also look into adoption since her sixteen year old would be leaving home soon and she would be lonely. I did not like how long and involving the home study process was, but I am thankful that people with such reasoning get weeded out from the adoption process. My sister's well meaning co-worker who I have never met also wondered if I had done my research because she knew of a person who adopted a child and had a lot of issues. I was not sure what research she meant - i.e. the 24 hours of classes or the endless hours I have spent researching adoption issues. How much research goes into our bio children before they come home? If our bio children have issues, is it because we did not do enough research or what is the recommendation of these well meaning people? Not to have bio children???? Another Christian lady could not understand why we were adopting and said we should be very careful since this was not just about us, but our bio son and the twins who were not blood relatives????? This is supposed to be a mature Christian lady, but I explained how we are adopted into God's family, the scriptures calling for us to care for the fatherless and also that we as adults are the ones who teach children differences. All my son sees now is that these are his siblings. It was clear that I did not make headway with this lady and I was sad. She has 2 children from 2 different dads, yet the children love each other very much and if there was a person who I would have thought would have gotten it, it was this friend who has been a Christian for decades and who goes for every Christian seminar and fellowship. Where is our compassion? Where is the life application of what we are hopefully learning?
Everyone has been so encouraging and I have only gotten a few bizarre comments. One person who was very "concerned" for me told me how much work three kids are (she only has one grown son) and asked me if I still had time to change my mind???? I was a bit at a loss - it is not exactly like you wake up one morning and decide that adoption seems to be a good thing to do. This coming from some one from India which has the largest number of aids orphans in the world and where infanticide of girls is rampant. Living in a country where there are so many resources and where having female children is not considered a drain on a family's resources, I would have hoped that she would have gotten more empathy for the fatherless. I guess this view of children as just more work or a financial burden is what causes the apathy that allows 143 million children in the world to be forgotten. Another bizarre comment I got was why I did not just have another biological child or children. When I explained my reasons, the person said she would also look into adoption since her sixteen year old would be leaving home soon and she would be lonely. I did not like how long and involving the home study process was, but I am thankful that people with such reasoning get weeded out from the adoption process. My sister's well meaning co-worker who I have never met also wondered if I had done my research because she knew of a person who adopted a child and had a lot of issues. I was not sure what research she meant - i.e. the 24 hours of classes or the endless hours I have spent researching adoption issues. How much research goes into our bio children before they come home? If our bio children have issues, is it because we did not do enough research or what is the recommendation of these well meaning people? Not to have bio children???? Another Christian lady could not understand why we were adopting and said we should be very careful since this was not just about us, but our bio son and the twins who were not blood relatives????? This is supposed to be a mature Christian lady, but I explained how we are adopted into God's family, the scriptures calling for us to care for the fatherless and also that we as adults are the ones who teach children differences. All my son sees now is that these are his siblings. It was clear that I did not make headway with this lady and I was sad. She has 2 children from 2 different dads, yet the children love each other very much and if there was a person who I would have thought would have gotten it, it was this friend who has been a Christian for decades and who goes for every Christian seminar and fellowship. Where is our compassion? Where is the life application of what we are hopefully learning?
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