Should I Be Panicking?

As of today, we have renters who move in at the end of the month and we are of the mindset that we will have moved out in a week's time so that we can prepare our place for the new renters. Also as of today, we do not know where we will be moving to! We have been strung (sp?) along by the management company regarding the place we loved for 2 1/2 weeks. The agreement was that the owner would install the AC unit already onsite and lack of AC would be a deal breaker for us. Today it was 98 degrees, so any thoughts that we can make do sans AC went out the window as we enjoyed staying indoors in an air conditioned house. The AC broke down in church and after 1 1/2 of torture, we know, no AC, no moving into said beloved house. The management company has been stalling us, leading us to believe that the owner had given the okay to install the AC unit and that the only hold up was sending someone out to do the work. Come to find out, they were also still advertising the place online and putting for lease signs after we put in the application! I think, the idea was to stall us and see if someone else would lease the place without the AC. If not, we were the back up plan! Not fun finding this out about a week before we are to move in!

We are now in a rush to find another place - including putting in an application with a different management company for another house which was our second choice and having to go through an interview with the owners! That was an awkward meeting! No-one know exactly what to say - I mean on paper we are perfect renters - even I would rent out a place to us :) and I am not sure what more the owners wanted to know since they did not ask many questions. The kids though had fun playing with the owners new puppy which they brought along for the interview. All we learnt was that they are attached to the house because the lady was pregnant with their son when they moved to the house and that her dad put in the kitchen cabinets. Don't know if we passed the interview - we were rather out of sorts - hubby was called into work at midnight and got home this morning just in time to get ready for church. So while he was sleepy, I was out of sorts because I literally wilt when it is hot outside! Yes, even after having lived in Nairobi, Kenya for years. Its always funny since people assume that I should be used to hot temperatures after having lived in Africa and California should be a breeze. The irony is that it is hotter where I live than it ever is in Nairobi. Nairobi has 2 hot months in the year where the temperatures reach 78 degrees! As surprising as this is for Americans, the laws of geography apply to Africa - the higher the elevation, the cooler it gets!

So, here we are - my niece is on college summer break and is coming to visit us from the Midwest on Tuesday. I knew she was coming, but was not sure when, and I just found out today when she is coming, which reminds me that I need to go shop for a mattress tomorrow. I have not packed anything, changed my address with the post office or made any calls re transferring the utilities since I don't know where we will be living! I am a bit obsessive compulsive about planning major things like a move, but I am so relaxed and just praying that things fall into place. Of course, I am doing all that I know how to make that happen, but this must be victory that I am not worried in the least. Last week it just occurred to me that worrying about the situation would not change a thing! I think it helps that I am still overwhelmed at our wonderful blessings from the Lord. Who cares if our things will be in storage and we will have to figure where to house our family of 5 plus our guest for who knows how long! I am so busy chasing almost walking toddlers who are now getting into everything - that and getting attacked daily to be given thousands of hugs and slobbery kisses by said toddlers! Its a bit hard to burden friends or family to house such a large family - though several have generously offered. My husband who is a total worrier is actually quite excited at the uncertainty of everyting - he is suggesting a cross country trip. Not sure how that helps in getting us closer to finding a place - but whatever helps him not to worry. I am happy to help him day dream.

Blessings upon Blessings.

I used to be surprised reading adoption blogs at the "silence" once the children came home. However, two months since the kids coming home, here I am doing that very thing! The kids are so easy, but I am not sure what happens to my day! I know I have not done all the things I had planned to do - like going through my wardrope and getting rid of all the size 2 and 4 clothes that I will never fit into again! Thankfully, I will soon be walking around with an infant and I can pretend she is responsible for my belly fat!

The kids are doing great - they recognize and look for us in a room full of people. However, we are still working on my son's attachment - he is a cuddle bug and loves to be held and cuddled, but he is just as happy being picked up and cuddled by a stranger! He finally learned to cry to get his needs met - that was huge because before he never even whimpered when he was hungry, wet or awake and needed to be picked up. His twin sister would take his toys and he would just look at her like whatever! He is finding his voice and making his needs known and I am happy - I never thought I would will a child to cry! He is also a sensory eater which makes meal times interesting since I have to make him a separate meal, my daughter a separate meal and then a meal for ourselves. The early interventionist will be giving us some materials to read to try and work on the sensory eating issues. They are doing great at the weekly early intervention visits and we will be getting a report that details where they are and also the goals the interventionist will be setting for them. The interventionist feels they are meeting most of their age adjusted milestones though speech continues to be an issue. She did give us some good ideas on things to do to help with speech. They are actually a couple months ahead on some issues - they are able to point to their eyes, mouth, nose, head and tummy when you ask them to point out these body parts.

We continue to be blessed and God continues to be faithful! The social worker came by today to bring a huge bag of clothes and shoes for my daughter. I don't think there has ever been a better dressed little girl than my daughter - and no thanks to her mommy and daddy! Friends from church are also planning another shower and honestly, I cannot think of anything we need - except diapers! We have been showered with so many gifts and it seems like every week, someone sends gifts of new clothes for the children. In two months, my daughter and son have not worn the majority of their clothes twice - they have that large of a wardrope! Their clothes are mainly from Gymboree, Old Navy, The Children's Place and Gap - places I am usually too cheap to shop at for children's clothes since they grow out of them so fast.

We finally found a renter and they will be moving in at the end of this month. We also found a place we love - we are just waiting to see if the owner is willing to hook up the AC unit. They bought a new AC unit, but never hooked it up. Right now, it does not seem to be a big issue with temps in the 60s and 70s, but after a couple days in the summer where the temps are in the 90s, then moving into a house we love but which does not have AC will not seem to be such a bright idea! The backyard is beautiful and huge. The rent also includes a gardener for which my husband is well pleased! I am having visions of even starting a garden - my husband rolls his eyes and laughs - I kill houseplants within a couple weeks so it would take a little more blind faith than he has to believe I will actually grow some crops to harvest. But just you wait - I will prove him wrong and make my father proud - my dad does not have a family farm for no reason! This city girl will get her hands dirty and grow some organic vegetables. With help from my four year old, I cannot go wrong - he has faithfully watered a plant he got me last mother's day and it is still going strong. We had found another place we liked, but once we got there, the owner would not show us the place because she said she was not looking to rent to people with children??? A four bedroom house and she expected renters without children? Anyway in California, it is illegal not to rent a place to people due to familial status (hoping that is what it was and not something more) and we are filing a complaint with Fair Housing. We do not intend to move there - we just to remind the owner about rental laws in California - she ought to have known better since she is a realtor. Not too sad about not getting this place - I am sure the huge patio advertised would not have fulfilled my needs to start a garden - last time I tried growing anything on my small unadvertised patio, I bought expensive plants and a couple of months later, all I had to show for it were large and very empty flower pots. At least the pots are cute - the sorta explain why the very lush weeds left in the wake of my failed attempts to grow potted plants. But now, with a real garden, oh the possibilities.

Pray for Me.....Pray for others

We participate in "Pray for Me... Pray for Others" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check out their blog to add your prayer request. Join a community of friends who care about you, and hope you will care about them.

We are still looking for a rental place and a renter for our condo. It is a bit discouraging at times as our lives seem to be in limbo. We can't really give a timeline to any prospective renters without having a place to move to! We thought in this economy and the housing situation being what it is in California that we would have found a reasonably priced place. We cannot really proceed with the infant's adoption until we move - we can get a space exemption and the social worker is ready to work on this, but realistically, we have no room for the baby and want to minimize the stress of welcoming an infant, then packing and moving. Our prayer would be to move and have the infant's room ready on her gotcha day. I can't seem to be able to give anyone any definate answers - our agency or potential renters! Praying for guidance and that the Lord would be glorified in how the situation is resolved. We are still committed to the referral and wish we could kick things in higher gear.

This week my heart has been heavy thinking of baby Stellan (mycharmingkids.net) and the incredible toll a long term hospital stay with a very ill baby must be on a family. My heart has also been heavy for baby Matty Matt's family (prayformatt.blogspot.com) and the pain of losing a baby. This is an incredible family whose blog will inspire your faith and make you look deeper at the meaning of love, sacrifice and understanding and acceptancing God's sovereignity.

Praise!

The children had their first visit with the early interventionist yesterday and the interventionist seemed surprised at their progress. I was able to read the case notes from teh January Evaluation report and I can see why she was surprised! The kids have made a lot of progress. We spent the two hours mostly playing with the kids and talking about any concerns we have. The first visit was mainly to observe the children since this is not the same person who evaluated the children. They are working on all the children's global domains and speech is the most obvious concern that I had noticed. This was also noted on the January evaluation report and the pediatrician also mentioned this during their visit last week. The children understand a lot, babble like crazy, but don't really say any words yet. Their adjusted age is 12 months so we are not totally worried. We are speaking and reading to the children a lot. Speech Therapy only commences at 18 months, so hopefully by then, they will have caught up. My causing waves produced results - the early interventionist's supervisor joined her for the evaluation yesterday and at the end, she gave me her card and told me to call her directly if I ever have any concerns.

We are also working with their case manager and have requested a copy of their evaluation report since it seems that physical therapy was recommended for both children. No copy was ever sent to the children's social worker or foster mom, so no body knew about the recommendation for both children. A different agency was supposed to provide the Physical Therapy services, so we have to call yet another agency to coordinate care. After the calls to the supervisor and agency director, the children's case manager has been suberb at getting back to me and has in fact initiated calls to both myself and the social worker. I am now confident we are all on the same page, and I think she knows I will advocate for these children and will not allow them to fall through the cracks again.

Long Overdue Update!

Time to break the silence! Our laptop decided to take a break and we had not been planning to buy a new computer for a while. But, we finally broke down - you only get an hour time slot a day at the Library to use the computer and with three children in tow - not too much fun!

The babies have been home for five weeks now. Their gotcha day was amazing and we are so blessed. It was really tough picking up the children from their foster home - their foster mom cried through out the pick - up and it that was tough. Once we got home, we had 30 people come to welcome the babies home and they could not have been shown more love. The kids have such sweet dispositions and are such easy babies. They have an easy smile and laugh and have really good sleep habits. They sleep twelve hours at night and take two naps of about 2 1/2 hours each daily. I love fixing my daughter's hair and she has such a diva wardrope courtesy of all my friends and family. My son also made out like a bandit and so far, he has not gone through all his new clothes. We also got tons of diapers and wipes which is such a blessing - boy do they go through many diapers in a day! Some friends got us a crib, mattress and beddings. We already had another crib and mattress so we are set in that area. My husband also went to the cleaners and met a couple who were trying to donate some baby furniture and they gave him a crib, mattress, dresser and play pen. All are almost new and in excellent condition. Our God is an awesome God. We are so totally stepping out in faith on this journey, and He has been so faithful. We are still pursuing the referral of the infant girl and we will have a crib for her to sleep in. I will write more on that journey later.

It takes me a couple hours to get everyone ready for church - my husband has to leave earlier for Sunday School and I am so proud of myself because I get there on time!

Their big brother continues to amaze me. God really prepared his heart for his new role as a big brother and he just loves on his siblings and always wants us to pick him up early from pre-school so that he can play with them. The first week they were home, we took our oldest who loves, loves, loves Thomas the Train to a live Thomas the Train Circus show (Broadway type show) and at the intermission, he told us he wanted to go home to play with his siblings! Now that is love! We have been very intentional in making sure we set aside time for him and his special time in Monday nights. We put the twins to bed an hour earlier and he gets to go to bed later. So far we have just talked, goofed around, played bingo (yes the kid loves playing Thomas the Train bingo), hide and seek - the goofball hides in the exact two spots all the time but my husband and I still manage to look surprised when we find him :)! He has been so loving and protective - he chastizes us if we say no to his siblings - he tells us that it is okay, they are just babies and they do not know better! He has been so good about sharing all his toys, reading to the kids and being mommy's helper. Strange, but it is the best sound ever - when the kids should all be sleeping, I hear them having a party! I have snuck in a few times to find the twins standing up in their cribs, jumping up and down and laughing their hearts out while my oldest is entertaining them, making silly faces! You should see their faces when they see me as they all try to lay down and pretend to be asleep and I try to have my serious face on whhile trying desperately not to laugh. It seems like they have been together forever.

The twins are now standing on their own and will be walking soon! We did have to go to the ER once to get a breathing treatment - my youngest son was wheezing pretty bad. We think both may be asthmatic - both have had to go to the ER for wheezing before. They are still eating pureed food though they are 14 months old. They got a late start eating and gag on solid foods. We start seeing an early intervention specialist next week and hopefully this will get addressed. Earlier on, the kids' social worker had said that the children had some developmental delays which would resolve on their own and that only my youngest son needed Occupational Therapy because of his torticollis. I remember wondering about needing OT for this but did not give it much thought. I called their case manager who had assessed the children in January and after a week of not returning my calls, I finally got a hold of her. She said that Physical Therapy was ordered and wanted to find out how the early intervention visits with Baby boy were going?????? This was news as the foster mom and social workers did not know about the recommendation for early intervention services. I spoke to their case worker again and she advised that she had looked into their case file and that PT was not recommended - they felt the torticollis would resolve on its own - though it still has not - but that both children needed early intervention services to address the developmental delays. Now their current pediatrician had noted developmental delays in October, the assessement was done in January, but their case worker had neglected to mention the recommendations and send a referral to the agency that would be sending the early intervention specialist out! I have called numerous times in the last month and their case manager would not return my calls. I finally had to speak to the agency director and within minutes, I got a call back and the referral sent to the agency that would be providing the services. Their case manager totally dropped the ball on this one and the annoying thing is that she did not even apologize for not returning my calls, taking almost four months to send a referral to the other agency, but instead, she was pretty annoyed that I took the matter up with the agency director and she even went as far as lying that she had returned all my calls and that it had only taken a day from the first contact to when she sent the referral. But all is well that ends well! We are getting services starting next week. She still needs to send me a worksheet with excercises for Baby Boy that we should have been doing 2X a day for the torticollis. This is the same case manager who will be doing their re-evaluation in July, so fun, fun, fun. She promised 4 weeks ago to mail me the worksheet and also a copy of the evaluation report, but so far, nada! I really hated having to call her director, normally I hate causing waves, but these precious children have suffered much, already fallen through the cracks once and God has entrusted them in my care. I promised to fight and advocate for them, and that requires me not to listen to the butterflies in my tummy when I have to cause waves in fighting for them, but to be firm, stand tall and be their voice.

We are blessed beyond belief - God has provided all our needs and beyond and it has been a wonderful time of bonding and meshing into a family. My husband took 6 weeks off and it is amazing how fast the time has gone. We are praying and believing that I can be a stay at home mom. Right now, the game plan is for me to be home for three months, go back to work and then my husband takes on the next three months. After that, we pray that everything will fall into place in terms of me being a stay at home mom or if that is not financially feasible, getting a live in nanny. The children have been through so much change in their short lives, we are hoping to minimize any more changes as much as we can. All in His hands. God is Good!

My babies love Food!

My husband and I picked up the kids for an afternoon visit today. We went to Costco and they wanted all the samples on offer. They were in heaven eating solid food, since they are still eating baby food. From their reaction when they would see yet another sample, you would think they had been starved. But their size tells another story! I wish I can share a picture of their thighs! All rolls of fat! I had no idea that the price of diapers has gone up 25% in 2 1/2 years which was the last time I was buying diapers in bulk!

It is so neat having twins - so many people would stop us to ask if they were twins and would then just hang around and chat. One lady told us how lucky we were to have a boy and a girl at a go and that we were now done! Little did she know that we have an older sibling and have just accepted a referral for an infant! I had not really thought about it, but by American standards, we will actually be considered a large family! A year ago, I was mommy to one with thoughts of adopting one other child. A year later, I am mommy to four! Amazing the journey the Lord leads you on when you are willing to be obedient and follow His leading. This is totally a journey of faith and is not normally how we would do things. Normally, we want to know how all the chips will fall. But on this, we have decided to live out our faith and know that God will provide all our needs.

Tomorrow is gotcha day! The social worker had wanted us to have the children for an overnight visit on Saturday before getting them permanently on Monday. After some discussion, it was decided that it did not make much difference returning the children on Sunday evening, only to get them again on Monday. I spent most of the morning cleaning up and after the visit, spent hours just trying to get ready. I still feel unprepared - since I have been working and visiting the kids almost every other day after work, I have not really had much time to nest and get ready. Yesterday was my last day at work and since the kids take such long naps during the day, I hope to get more organized, downsize more and then start looking for a renter for our place and looking for a new place to rent. I want to be in our new place by the time the infant comes home (in a few months - or less considering how fast it has taken from referral to getting the twins). My heart is so full and I feel totally blessed.

L'il Troopers!

Today, I had a baby shower at work. We had the priviledge and honor of introducing our new kids to my co-workers who have all been so supportive and encouraging! As soon as I told my co-workers about the children, within a couple of days, they had organized a baby shower and today, we were totally blessed with all the gifts we got. We got car seats, tons of clothes, bottles, cups, bibs, gift certificates, and lots of other stuff. The organizers even remembered to include my son and he got to open his own gifts. He had a blast and was so caring about his siblings and making sure they had their snacks and bottles. The babies were such troopers-they missed their morning nap, but were so friendly and not cranky at all. I was so moved by everyone's generosity. I am so blessed to work in a place where people get adoption. I only knew of one other adoptive parent at my job, but found out that one of the attorneys at my job is also an adoptive mom. It is amazing the sense of community and kinship you feel with other adoptive parents, because they "get" it. My husband got to spend the whole afternoon with all three kids and he was even getting adventurous and wanting to go to the store with all three kids until he remembered the crazy logistics of trying to hold two super heavy kids (no double stroller yet) push a cart and make sure a four year old is in his line of vision. He quickly let go of that plan!

Everyone has been so encouraging and I have only gotten a few bizarre comments. One person who was very "concerned" for me told me how much work three kids are (she only has one grown son) and asked me if I still had time to change my mind???? I was a bit at a loss - it is not exactly like you wake up one morning and decide that adoption seems to be a good thing to do. This coming from some one from India which has the largest number of aids orphans in the world and where infanticide of girls is rampant. Living in a country where there are so many resources and where having female children is not considered a drain on a family's resources, I would have hoped that she would have gotten more empathy for the fatherless. I guess this view of children as just more work or a financial burden is what causes the apathy that allows 143 million children in the world to be forgotten. Another bizarre comment I got was why I did not just have another biological child or children. When I explained my reasons, the person said she would also look into adoption since her sixteen year old would be leaving home soon and she would be lonely. I did not like how long and involving the home study process was, but I am thankful that people with such reasoning get weeded out from the adoption process. My sister's well meaning co-worker who I have never met also wondered if I had done my research because she knew of a person who adopted a child and had a lot of issues. I was not sure what research she meant - i.e. the 24 hours of classes or the endless hours I have spent researching adoption issues. How much research goes into our bio children before they come home? If our bio children have issues, is it because we did not do enough research or what is the recommendation of these well meaning people? Not to have bio children???? Another Christian lady could not understand why we were adopting and said we should be very careful since this was not just about us, but our bio son and the twins who were not blood relatives????? This is supposed to be a mature Christian lady, but I explained how we are adopted into God's family, the scriptures calling for us to care for the fatherless and also that we as adults are the ones who teach children differences. All my son sees now is that these are his siblings. It was clear that I did not make headway with this lady and I was sad. She has 2 children from 2 different dads, yet the children love each other very much and if there was a person who I would have thought would have gotten it, it was this friend who has been a Christian for decades and who goes for every Christian seminar and fellowship. Where is our compassion? Where is the life application of what we are hopefully learning?

TGIF

We picked up the children this afternoon and the foster mom had packed for them the way I used to pack when I was a new mom – I was always paranoid that I would need something and would have left it home! So I used to pack like we were going away for a week! This was how their bags were packed andfor a split second, my husband and I were confused if this was the day we were taking permanent custody of the children! Oh no, where would they sleep tonight – my husband had not put together the cribs, and there were a million other things I needed to do to get ready! But no, the packing was just for a day visit. The children were happily waving good-bye to the foster mom, but once we drove away, they realized she was not coming along. They teared up a little which is a good sign that they are attached to her, but were soon curious about all that they were seeing. They are so alert and so curious! We picked up our oldest son from preschool and he was so excited to come tothe car and find his sister and his brother waiting for him. The twins were excited to see him and when we got home, we found my sister and my nephe wwaiting for us at the door. It was a nice welcome and my sister got to meet her new niece and nephew. My son played with his siblings for a while, but then my nephew took him to play with him so that we could spend more time with the twins. My nephew is so wonderful – he is fourteen years old, but he is not your regular sullen teen. He is intuitive and does not get embarrassed at having to play with four year olds! He is the same nephew who came for my son’s preschool Christmas program. Though he would act like he was not supposed to be there and roll his eyes when my son wanted to go talk to Santa just one more time, he would still put him on his shoulders and stand in line behind all the other preschoolers, until my son got his chance to talk to Santa again! He got to hold the twins and he has been so accepting – his reaction when we told him we were adopting was – simply saying great, and asking what their names were and when they were coming! I wish more adults would have the same heart! It was tough to take them back in the evening, but we were able to put them to sleep.

Visit Time!

Tonight, my oldest son and I went to visit his siblings and once again, we had a very good visit. The kids actually recognize us and willingly come to us. We played for about half an hour and then had to leave because it was getting to their bedtime. They were actually putting out their hands to me when I was at the door and it was hard saying good-bye! Oh how I love my children! Tomorrow, I get to have them all afternoon! They are coming toour house for a visit! My husband actually went to buy some clothes for the babies. This is huge because he hates going to shop for clothes. He wanted to reassure me that he loves the babies and was not sure if I was really joking when I teased him that he cancelled a visit so that he could go look at cars! Oh dear - I have absolutely no doubt about his love for his children. I guess I will need to be reassuring him more, or come to think of it, maybe not so that he can continue going clothes shopping!

Bona Fide Soccer mom!

We were supposed to have a visit today and the foster mom had called earlier to let us know that she was keeping the kids up so that they would be awake when we got there. However, she called my husband and said it might not be a good time to visit as the children were pretty cranky from having missed their afternoon nap. The foster mom said when our daughter woke up on Tuesday morning, she was looking around for the person who had put her down to sleep! That made my heart very happy. However, I was sad, sad, sad at not being able to visit today – I had been so looking forward to seeing my babies again! My husband did not want to the evening to go to waste and wanted to do something related to the adoption. So, offwe went car shopping. Now my husband was very excited about going car shopping – I had a second of doubt when I wondered if he had cancelled the visit! He was horrified at the thought! We did find a used car that weliked and one that is not a van! I was not quite ready for a van yet. However, if God makes His will clear about another adoption, we will haveroom for 4 car seats. We did end up buying the car and now have the added responsibility of selling one of our cars! The price they offered to trade in our old one, was not quite we had in mind. It is amazing just how longit takes to buy a car! I mean, we went to Carmax, which has haggle free pricing – the sticker price is what you pay – so you don’t have to spend three to four hours trying to negotiate the price. We only took one car out for a test drive, and the car salesmen do not pressure you at all – they just open up the cars you want to look at and are available to answer any questions you may have. However the process still ended up taking 3 ½hours!

Pajamas for you!

Today we went to visit the children after I got off work. We had a good visit with them and we even got to hold them and rock them. Most times,they will only let you hold them for a few seconds before they are offcrawling away, wanting you to chase after them! My husband was able to rock his son to sleep and the foster mom was very surprised because he does notlet himself be rocked to sleep. We were able to put the children down tosleep and it is so obvious the love and care the foster mom puts into her foster children. Their room is really nice and kid friendly. They each have stuffed animals and a special blankie. I am so thankful that God placed them in this home. I am trying to think of the right words to express this in the letter I plan to write to the foster mom when we take full custody of the children. Though we don’t get to visit till Wednesday since the foster mom is not available on Tuesday, I have so much peace knowing that they are in a place where they are loved and extremely well taken care of. My sister bought the kids some clothes and because I think they will outgrow them soon, we brought them over so that they can get to wear them before they are too small. The are the onesie like full length outfits (I forgot their name) and my son were supper excited when he saw them – now his brother and sister have pajamas!

Son - your brother and your sister!

Today our son got to meet his new siblings. He was really excited aboutgoing to meet them, but before we were even half way there, he started insisting that we needed to go to the store and get his sister and his brother pajamas! Not sure why he was worried that they did not have pajamas! We did not have time to stop and get them pajamas, but we were able to convince him that he was fine just taking them the toys we hadbought with the money from his piggy bank. It was a real joy watching thekids interact – my son immediately went and hugged his brother and sister,opened their toys for them and then washed his hands and started feeding them their snacks (yogurt melts). He was getting a kick out of telling themthat they needed to take turns as he would put a yogurt melt in one child’smouth and then the other. He was excited to see them stand holding on tofurniture and he was crawling on the floor and trying to get them to followhim. It was a really wonderful visit and he gladly shared Mommy's lap by letting me hold both babies on my lap. The babies seemed to realize that he was a child and were happy to play hide and seek with him and follow him for more snacks. My heart is full. If only we would always have the love and innocence of children.